Every story about being locked out starts the same way. I know what I’m talking about—I’m an expert. It has happened to me more times than I can count on both my hands and yours.
It always goes like this:
You get yourself ready to leave the house. Windows closed, water taps checked, gas off, no candles lit. Grab your phone, find the keys, and leave them by your shoes as you put them on. Call the dog, put a collar on her, take a leash, step outside the door, close it and… snap!
Your brain has kindly woken up — just in time to remind you:
“Where are your keys, dummy?!”
And this happens all the time. The smart arse residing in your head always wakes up too late, as if it had been waiting for this glitch so it could switch to problem-solving mode.
“Shooooooot!” Realisation hits me right in the forehead!
“What the heck?! Couldn’t you wake up a bit sooner? Are you just here to exist, or do you have a job to do? Like THINK???” I wanted to shout, but I doubted my neighbours or any passersby would understand. Instead of helping me, they’d probably call a mental clinic, and instead of being locked out of my house, I might end up locked up in a madhouse.
I held back, calmed down, and took the dog for a walk. After all, it’s only 6 am on Monday. What else could I do? I told myself.
I guess no work today. Always look on the bright side… right?
I had enough time to try to figure out my problem, which was no small matter, to be fair.
I had no keys, no phone, no money — and didn’t even know the landlady’s name, let alone her contact details.
“This is going to be fun…” instantly crossed my mind.
Two hours passed, and by now, the dog was pretty tired. No solution was found by that squishy cauliflower-looking brain sitting patiently in the upper part of my body, which only managed to come up with the following:
Get into the flat from the outside. — I live on the 7th floor, and no, there is no direct access from my neighbour.
Call the landlady — genius, I don’t have her details and no phone, remember?
Call a locksmith to open the door — again, no phone or money.
Honestly, sometimes it’s hard living with a brain that refuses to function.
I got back and sat in front of the house. And then! The lightbulb lit up, and I remembered that in the next block of the apartment, there’s a maintenance guy. We live on a small island, Malta, so surely he would know my landlady!
So I went to find him, feeling like Sherlock Holmes uncovering a mystery.
“Ahhh, the short lady with blond curly hair?” he mused, putting his memory wheels to work. I could almost see the wheels turning in his head.
“Yes, yes, that’s the one,” I confirmed excitedly, thanking myself at least for having met her once. I already started imagining myself being rescued by the lady riding a white horse like a magical fairy coming to my rescue.
“Naaah, I don’t know her name.” Great, I fell from the fantasy cloud right to the ground, making a 2-metre deep hole.
“But I know she has a nuts shop in Mosta.” Nice, that’s something.
I thanked him and left.
As I was walking back, I noticed a guy leaving my block who looked familiar.
I approached him. In situations like this, shame or shyness has no place.
“I’m sorry, do you work at Pink Panda company?” I mustered up the courage.
“Yes, I do. You work on the 2nd floor as well, right?”
“Exactly!” And I went on to explain my rather troublesome situation, blaming the squishy cauliflower brain of mine, hoping that perhaps the mysterious person in question was also his landlady. You never know. I could be lucky.
I wasn’t, of course. That would have been too much of a coincidence.
“Go up to the 2nd floor, door number 4, my wife is at home. Maybe she can help you.”
And she did. She first fed me up. It was approaching 9 am, and my belly made everybody know I hadn’t eaten yet! Why do body parts always betray you at the most inconvenient time?! First the brain, then the stomach…
A few minutes later, with a full belly, the brain also started doing the job it’s supposed to do: THINK. Our detective work continued. We googled for a ‘nuts’ shop in Mosta, praying it had a website. I didn’t dare think otherwise.
Bingoooo, we found one shop which also had a phone number listed. I could not believe it! Anna, the come-to-rescue girl, passed me her phone.
“Hello, Dingo Nuts, how can I help you?” A man’s voice answered. Shit. What now…
“Hi, I’m looking for the lady, the owner of the shop, who is renting out an apartment in Sliema?” I paused, thinking… the man on the other side must think I’m nuts! Suddenly, everything became too nuts for my liking.
“Hold on!” he answered. My heart started racing, and I almost felt it was going to run out of my body.
“Yes? Who’s that?” a woman’s voice asked.
“Sorry to bother you, do you by any chance rent an apartment in Sliema?” I chimed in, giving the full address.
“Yes!” she exclaimed, and I could hear worry in her voice.
“I’m your tenant and I locked myself out! Would you by any chance have a spare key?”
Nothing… quiet… I died a hundred deaths imagining her saying no, and me calling a locksmith and then still ending up breaking the freaking door as it didn’t have just one lock but two. It was a proper security door, and I was so pleased to have it when signing the rental agreement. I can’t say I was celebrating now.
“OK, but I can’t come now, give me a couple of hours,” she replied at last!
I was going to be rescued!!!
She came around 1 pm, with a massive bag full of keys. No time to judge. I reproached myself.
She got them all out of the bag, and I started looking for the right ones.
Do you know what the best and most musical sound I had heard until then was? The sound of a key fitting into the lock and opening the door.
Hallelujah. I am home. With my dog. Safe and sound. The keys and the phone were staring at me from the exact place where I had left them, and I swear if things could speak, they would just say, “Where have you been?!”
The poor dog just threw herself onto the bed and fell asleep right away. I don’t want to imagine what she must have thought.
I checked my phone — fifteen missed calls. Damn. Work. I’d forgotten.
I called right back in. Another drama was just in time avoided. They’d gotten worried as I hadn’t turned up, hadn’t called, and nobody knew what had happened. Since it’s not like me to miss work, they were already getting in touch with HR to get my address to check it out and call the police. Phew, I called just in time to call the whole action off.
Such drama. Of course, I blamed my absent-minded brain.
Since then, I have worn the keys around my neck like a school kid. Until, of course, I moved to another country again, forgot about this incident and… guess what… I locked myself out again…
But that’s a new story for another day.
Nevertheless, I did Sharelock Homes, no panic — I managed to solve the problem and made a couple of friends along the way. Just remember: keep calm and wear the keys around your neck at all times.
📘 Phrase Glossary
| Word / Expression | Type | Meaning | Example Sentence |
|---|---|---|---|
| snap! | interjection | Sudden sharp sound, often indicating something breaking or closing | I heard a snap! and knew the door had shut. |
| dummy | noun (informal) | Foolish person | Don’t be such a dummy—bring your keys! |
| smart arse | noun (informal, UK) | Someone who shows off cleverness in an annoying way | He’s a smart arse who thinks he knows everything. |
| glitch | noun | Small error or malfunction | A computer glitch deleted my work. |
| madhouse | noun (informal) | Chaotic place / old slang for mental hospital | The office was a madhouse before the deadline. |
| squishy cauliflower-looking brain | metaphor | Humorous description of the brain | My squishy cauliflower-looking brain wasn’t working. |
| nuts | noun/slang | 1) Edible seeds 2) Crazy (slang) | He’s totally nuts for skydiving in a storm. |
| fantasy cloud | metaphor | Imaginative or unrealistic thought | I fell from my fantasy cloud when I heard the truth. |
| verb | Search online using Google | I googled the address of the shop. |
✏️ Idioms & Expressions
| Idiom / Expression | Meaning | Example Sentence |
| realisation hits me | Suddenly becoming aware of something | The realisation hit me that I’d left my bag behind. |
| look on the bright side | Focus on the positive | Look on the bright side—you have the day off. |
| lightbulb lit up | Have a sudden idea | The lightbulb lit up when I remembered the shop. |
| bingo! | Expression used when finding or achieving something | Bingo! That’s the answer I was looking for. |
| died a hundred deaths | Felt extreme fear or stress | I died a hundred deaths waiting for the results. |
| hallelujah | Expression of relief or joy | Hallelujah! The train finally arrived. |
| safe and sound | Unharmed | We made it home safe and sound. |
| keep calm | Stay relaxed and not panic | Keep calm and follow the instructions. |
Phrasal Verbs
| Phrasal Verb | Meaning | Example from Text | Learner-Friendly Explanation |
| call off | Cancel something planned | “…called work just in time to call off the whole action.” | To stop an event or plan from happening. |
| come up with | Think of an idea or solution | “…only managed to come up with the following…” | To find or create an idea or answer to a problem. |
| figure out | Understand or solve something | “…try to figure out my problem.” | To understand something by thinking about it. |
| get in touch | Contact someone | “…getting in touch with HR…” | To communicate with someone, usually by phone or email. |
| google / googled | Search for something on Google | “…we googled for a ‘nuts’ shop in Mosta…” | To use the internet to find information. |
| hold on | Wait for a short time | “Hold on!” he answered. | To ask someone to wait a moment. |
| locked out | Unable to enter because keys are missing or inside | “I locked myself out!” | To be outside with no way to get back inside because you lost your keys. |
| move to | Go to live in another place | “…until I moved to another country again…” | To change your home and start living somewhere new. |
| muster up | Gather courage or energy | “…I mustered up the courage.” | To find enough courage or energy to do something difficult. |
| put on | Dress yourself with clothes or shoes | “…leave them by your shoes as you put them on.” | To place clothes or shoes on your body. |
| step outside | Go out of a building | “…step outside the door…” | To walk out of a room or building. |
| throw oneself onto | Fall or lie down suddenly and heavily | “…the poor dog just threw herself onto the bed…” | To suddenly lie down on something in a tired or dramatic way. |
| turn up | Arrive or appear | “…hadn’t turned up…” | To arrive somewhere, often unexpectedly or late. |
| wake up | Stop sleeping and become aware | “Your brain has kindly woken up…” | To stop sleeping or start paying attention. |
| betray you | Fail or reveal something you want to hide | “…body parts always betray you…” | To accidentally show feelings or needs that you wanted to hide. |
| check out | Examine or investigate | “…to check it out and call the police.” | To look carefully at something to learn more about it. |
🧠 Grammar explained
Simple Past is the most frequent 🟢
Use: You use it to narrate your story, describe past events, or things you did:
Examples:
- I held back, calmed down, and took the dog for a walk.
- I went to find him.
Past Continuous 🔵
Use: sets the scene or describes something in progress at a certain moment:
Examples:
- Your brain was kindly waking up…” (implied meaning)
- As I was walking back, I noticed a guy leaving my block who looked familiar.
Past Perfect 🟣
Use: is useful when you want to mention a past action that happened before another past action:
Examples:
- I had left my keys by the shoes… (before realizing I was locked out)
- I hadn’t eaten yet! (before being fed)
❓Quiz Time
🎯True or False
🤓 Time for Grammar
✍️ Writing Practice
Write about a time when you got into trouble unexpectedly. In about 150–200 words, describe:
- What happened and how you got into trouble
- How you felt during the situation
- What you did to try to solve the problem (try to include phrasal verbs and idioms you learned)
- How it ended
- What you learned from the experience or what advice you would give to someone else in a similar situation
- Use different past tenses and try to make your story interesting with some descriptive language.
Example Prompt to Ask ChatGPT for Help:
“Please review my writing and help me improve it by checking for grammar mistakes—especially with past tenses—correcting any vocabulary errors or awkward phrases, suggesting improvements to make the text clearer and more natural, ensuring all spelling is in UK English, highlighting any new or useful expressions you find, and providing a brief explanation of the main corrections you make. Here is my text: [Insert your text here].”
🤖Ask AI for help
Stuck on a word? Confused by a tense? Want to practice more?
Please help me improve my understanding of past tenses, phrasal verbs, and idioms. Could you explain how different past tenses are used, provide clear examples, and clarify when to use each one? Also, please explain common phrasal verbs and idiomatic expressions, their meanings, and suggest similar phrases I can learn and practise.
💡 Tip for Learners
Start your prompt with:
“I’m an English learner at B2 level. Please…”
That way, the AI knows how simple or advanced to keep the answer!