Ah yes, the magic formula for learning languages. Everyone has one, right? Their method is THE method. The holy grail. The golden ticket. The thing that will make you fluent overnight while you nap with a grammar book under your pillow.
Bad news, amigos: there’s no such thing. NOOOOO WAAAY.
And here’s an extra kick in the teeth: there’s no easy way either (sorry, not sorry).
When you learn anything—a language, the piano, knitting socks with cats on them—there will be moments when you fail. When your brain screams “nope,” when you misunderstand, when you question your life choices, and when you’re convinced you’re wasting your time.
It’s important to know: this WILL happen. But it’s OK. It’s part of the deal. And unless you keep going, well… you won’t succeed. Simple as that.
Czech: The Freebie Language
My native language is Slovak. And Czech? That was basically a free gift with purchase.
Back in the day, we had Czech all over the place—TV, newspapers, books, even in school while I studied in the Czech Republic. My brain just slurped it up like soup. Reading or listening in Czech felt natural, like chewing gum you didn’t even know was in your mouth.
Do I speak Czech? Nah. Do I write in Czech? Double nah. We never needed to—Czechs and Slovaks just magically understood each other. Sadly, this “two for one” deal is fading away now. Thanks to laws and Very Smart People™ up there, those bridges are crumbling. In Slovakia, you can still buy some Czech books, but it’s no longer part of everyday life. A pity.
German & Russian: The School Fails
German and Russian were supposed to be my big school languages. Spoiler: they weren’t.
Russian? Too short a fling to remember a single thing.
German? Ten years. TEN YEARS. And all I can do is swear. Which, honestly, is the only part of German I learned with true passion.
Why the fail? Let’s break it down:
- Teachers who weren’t fluent themselves.
- Endless memorising.
- Translating random sentences that no sane human would ever say.
- Grammar drills in a vacuum.
- Zero motivation.
Total waste of time. The only thing that stuck? Calling the teacher alte Hex (“old witch”)—behind her back, of course.
English: Sink or Swim
English started the same useless way—school drills—but then I moved to an English-speaking country. Suddenly, it was swim or die.
Lucky for me, I’m a bookworm. I devoured kids’ books, then history books, then anything I could get my hands on. I scribbled notes about the Tudors like a mini historian. At school, the teachers actually spoke English (shocking, I know) from day one. And unlike many learners, I actually liked grammar. Why? Because knowing the rules gives you power. You can bend them later to be cheeky and creative.
I went full throttle: reading, writing, speaking, listening, asking questions, writing stories and getting them corrected. Nobody around me spoke Slovak, so I had no choice but to grow wings fast.
After three years of this full-on immersion, I passed the Cambridge First Certificate (B2). It wasn’t the “ta-daa, now I’m fluent” moment—but it gave me enough confidence to realise: hey, I can actually use this language.
That’s when things got interesting. All the Slovaks around me suddenly discovered I could help them with their English. And I thought: why not? I started a mini interpreter business—charging for my time, of course. (Pro tip: don’t give your skills away for free.)
That little side hustle eventually opened the door to something bigger: a translator job at an international company. Step by step, I was building not just my English, but a career.
Later on, I went further and passed the Cambridge Advanced with Grade A (that’s C2 level, baby). But the truth is, the real “win” wasn’t the exam. It was everything that happened along the way: the books, the conversations, the business, the work opportunities. The journey. I wasn’t just “learning English”—I was living it.
Spanish: Stubborn Mode Activated
Enter Spanish. By this time, I had my formula for success ready: full immersion, grammar + practice, repeat. Easy, right?
Ha! Not so fast.
I live in Spain, but Spanish isn’t my everyday language. My work is all in English (thanks, globalisation). And outside of work, I felt like everyone had the patience level of a toddler. At the school, the post office, even bars—no time for me fishing out words with hand gestures. It was either “get serious” or “give up.”
So I got serious.
I started with kids’ books, then graduated to graded readers from Amazon (best hack ever). Grammar and vocabulary books became my café buddies while waiting for the kids. I signed up for lessons where the teacher spoke ONLY in Spanish—bless that woman. I found podcasts, moving slowly from “Hola amigos” to “today we discuss politics.”
Most importantly, I had heroes: my Spanish colleagues. They had the patience to talk to me, correct me, and cheer me on. Legends.
And of course… technology. I use AI every day (yes, even Bob the Bot—hi, Bob 👋). I write, get corrections, do exam practice, and ask grammar questions. I passed B2 and now I’m chasing the C1 DELE exam. Vamos.
Portuguese: Next Up
Because why stop at three? We visit Portugal once a year, so I decided it was time to say more than just “obrigada.”
The plan? Apply my formula again:
- Immersion.
- Graded books first.
- Grammar sets.
- Find humans to talk to.
- Podcasts.
- Writing practice with Bob the Bot (AI).
Let’s see how far I get before the next pastel de nata distracts me.
Here’s the thing: there is no one-size-fits-all formula. You need your own recipe. But there are a few must-have ingredients which you can find in Language-Learning Tips: No Magic, Just Messy Genius. Because while exams are the big shiny goal at the end, the real joy is in the journey: the books — the rom-coms, the conversations — eye-popping slang words, the aha moments when you finally understand a local joke and laugh like a maniac, not just because you got it, but because you UNDERSTOOD!!
That’s where the magic happens.