Living abroad is amazing… until you realise you have zero friends. You want to belong, but where do you start? The truth: friends don’t magically appear in your living room!
1. Accept the Awkward Phase (It’s Part of the Deal)
Nobody moves abroad and instantly makes friends (unless your family already set things up).
You’ll misunderstand jokes, smile at strangers who weren’t smiling at you, and nod politely while having no idea what anyone is talking about.
Abroadien Tip:
Lean into the discomfort — awkwardness is the first step towards real friendship.
2. Learn the Local Language (At Least Enough to Avoid Accidental Insults)
You don’t need to be fluent. You just need to know how to say hello without accidentally proposing marriage.
Language is the glue of friendships.
When you can hold even a small conversation, you suddenly stop being “the foreigner who smiles a lot” and become a real person.
Also, locals adore it when you try. Even badly. Especially badly, sometimes.
3. Say Yes (Even When You Want to Hide Under a Blanket)
You need to get out of your sitting room and your comfort zone. I’m sorry to break this to you: scrolling through social media isn’t going to get you anywhere apart from feeling sorry for yourself and singing the song, “Lonely, I’m Mr Lonely…”
Join the community
I moved abroad on my own. I didn’t speak English, and yet I made friends. And no, I was not an outgoing, bubbly extrovert willing to speak to any living soul. In reality, I preferred to speak to my plants.
The first thing I did was sign up for English lessons, of course. And then any other classes, including potter. Not only did I improve my language skills, but I also met different people from different backgrounds and different ages.
Once, I joined a photography club where the average age was around 65 while I was 26 at that time, but who cared? I gained multiple granddads and grandmums who taught me some cool stuff. Then I joined a sewing club, from which I was constantly bringing home the latest gossip and new vocabulary.
The more you show up, the more people you meet.
Simple. Annoying. True.
Bonus: You can leave an activity if you hate it. You’re an adult. You can quit things now.
4. Befriend Other Abroadies (But Not Only Abroadies)
I’ve noticed that we Abroadies somehow click better. We go through the same mess, the same identity crisis, and question certain customs or habits. We feel part of the Abroadien community — we are the ones who constantly ask, “Where do I belong?”
However, don’t build your whole life only around other foreigners. Locals help you feel rooted, teach you slang, and prevent you from living in an “expat” bubble. And, most importantly, they pass on information you wouldn’t know otherwise.
I can’t pass the ice-cream place without the man behind the counter waving at me. The local bookshop owners greet me even on the street. A waiter from our local bar is always willing to share his latest holiday experience. An elderly owner of a beach bar keeps a homemade cake for me, made by his wife.
Making friends does not necessarily mean getting invites to a tea party. Just being accepted can be enough — and not necessarily by everyone.
5. Accept That Some Attempts Will Fail (It’s Normal)
You’ll meet people who seem great and then… vanish.
You’ll have one-time friendships that dissolve faster than your language skills after two glasses of wine.
Not everyone is meant to stay — and that’s okay.
Keep going. All it takes is one good friend to feel at home. Don’t be a stranger.
And yes, some locals will keep calling you by your place of origin, no matter how long you’ve been living here. But that’s OK — it’s the easiest description they know you by, just like some people are described by their bald head, big nose, blond hair, or any other feature that grabs attention.
Here in Spain, some call me “Llanita”, thinking I’m from Gibraltar just because they hear me speak English and Spanish. I don’t care, though. The fact that they’re giving me a nickname means I’m being known now :).
6. Embrace the Slow-Burn Friendships
Making friends abroad takes time. Remember, you weren’t born here.
People already have their circles, routines, family lunches, and agendas. And not everybody is open-minded. It might take time.
But stick around. Keep showing up. Keep talking to people even when your brain is fried.
Friendship abroad grows slowly — and then one day someone texts you:
“Hey, do you want to come over for dinner?”
And suddenly… You belong.
Even when they keep calling you “The English girl”.
Fun Fact
I made most friends by having a dog.
We dog owners are simply the best in the world.
It starts by asking the dog’s name, age, and breed, and before you know it, you’re discussing the best places to visit and where you should (or should not) buy a house.
Craving more Abroadien chaos? 🌍💛 Dive into Life in Translation, where every story is messy, hilarious, and totally relatable. From awkward encounters to accidental faux pas, you’ll find the truth behind living abroad—no Instagram-perfect filters, just real-life chaos. Start with “No Red Carpet, Just Chaos: Surviving Life Abroad” and see how even the most chaotic days can turn into stories you actually belong in.