(Without Losing Your Mind or Your Marriage)
Many of us work full-time, have a full house, a full life, and are full of doubts — so how the heck are we supposed to learn a new language?!
Learning isn’t what you think it is.
Learning a language isn’t about sitting at a desk, drilling grammar tables and memorising random words you’ll never use. It’s messy. It’s unpredictable. It happens while you’re half-awake on a Monday morning, mispronouncing something in front of your colleagues, or ordering a sandwich and getting cake instead. That is learning — it’s living in the language, not studying it like a lab experiment.
Find a partner who actually speaks the language you want to learn.
Once, somebody told me, “Find a boyfriend and he will teach you.” But before you do, make sure they don’t speak any of the languages you already know — otherwise, they won’t bother. They’ll default to the easiest language for both of you and never push you out of your comfort zone.
For some reason, many partners don’t have the patience or time to invest in you, but if they don’t speak any other lingo… well, there isn’t much they can do to keep you other than help out, right?
And if you’re already married?
Divorce, leave your partner, and get a new one who speaks the language you’re learning!
…Just kidding. Don’t do that — unless you’re really desperate. 😏
Get a teacher or go to a language school.
You need structure. You need someone to practice with.
The good thing? You just pay them for their time — no divorce needed once you are done.
And yes, you can sacrifice two hours a week for online lessons or in-person classes. These are your checkpoints — the “no escape” moments that keep you accountable.
When you say, “I don’t have time,” it’s just a lame excuse. Who are you kidding?
You either want to learn or you don’t. So take it seriously or find another hobby — but don’t say, “I’ve been living here for ten years and still don’t speak the language.” What are you trying to say by that?
How to learn a new language while working full-time — for real.
The truth about how to learn languages while working full-time is simple: you have to weave learning into your life instead of waiting for “free time.” Free time is a myth. It doesn’t exist.
Learn while cooking, commuting, cleaning, or pretending to listen in meetings. Turn your daily chaos into study sessions.
You don’t need perfect conditions — you need consistency. Every five minutes counts. Invest in yourself, and your brain will thank you.
Now that you’ve secured a guide (and resisted selling your soul to Duolingo)…
It’s time to put on your discipline pants and create a schedule.
If you love reading — great!
Get graded readers or easy novels at your level. You’ll actually understand the story, and that’s motivating. Don’t try to translate every word; just aim to get the point.
If you hate reading — tough.
Because reading is where you see grammar and vocabulary in action. It’s repetition that makes things stick and click in your brain. Stories make remembering easier — even if you grumble through them.
Replace your majority language with your minority language.
Read short stories, articles, or even memes in your target language every day. Swap doomscrolling in your native tongue for a few paragraphs in your new one.
Commuting to work? Brilliant.
Use that time wisely. Listen to podcasts — there are tons for every level, and many graded books even have audiobook versions.
Work in a multinational company? Use it.
Find a colleague or work buddy who speaks your target language and gossip in it. It’s productive and satisfying.
Honestly, nothing bonds people like complaining about work in two languages.
Weekends are for grammar — and rewards.
Be selfish. Cut out one hour on Saturday and Sunday to study grammar.
Yes, grammar can be boring, but when you finally recognise it in a conversation or text and go, “Ahaaa!” — that’s your reward.
Then, reward yourself properly: Netflix time.
Start with subtitles, then switch them off. That’s when you know you got it.
Be kind to yourself (and watch the natives).
You’ll make mistakes — glorious, embarrassing ones. You’ll forget basic words and invent new ones. And that’s perfectly fine.
Fluency isn’t built through perfection; it’s built through patience, laughter, and curiosity. Watch how natives speak, listen to how they laugh, copy their rhythm and expressions — not to sound “perfect,” but to belong. You’re not failing; you’re evolving, one awkward conversation at a time.
“Easier said than done,” you say?
Well, I’ve done it.
And if I’ve done it, why can’t you?
What’s more, I’m a mother of two, married, working full time in an exhausting corporate job, commuting 40 minutes each way, and shuttling kids to after-school activities.
Nope, I didn’t get a divorce just to learn Spanish. I made it work through motivation, stubbornness, and a healthy dose of selfishness.
I know what I want and I work hard to get it.
I’m stubborn enough not to let go once I smell success, and selfish enough to tell my husband and kids to leave me alone because I’m learning.
I invested time in myself so I can help them later.
After three years, I earned my B2 certificate in Spanish — yes, while working full time, raising kids, and commuting daily.
I managed because I wanted to — and because I stopped looking for excuses not to.
If I can do it, you can do it.
Or else, what’s your excuse? I stopped looking for excuses not to.
Ready to keep the chaos going?
If you loved this dose of real-life language learning, don’t miss my next hilariously honest guides:
👉 Language-Learning Tips: No Magic, Just Messy Genius — because you don’t need talent, you need stubbornness, caffeine, and a slightly unhinged sense of humour.
And then dive into Immersion Madness: How to Dive Headfirst into Language Learning (and Survive!), where I show you how to turn your everyday life — from Netflix binges to awkward shop encounters — into a full-blown immersion experience without losing your mind.