Have you ever heard of the saying “knowledge is power“? I keep thinking about it, especially in those silly moments when I totally mess up and create a hilarious multilingual chaos.
It starts simply: you learn one language, then another, then try a fourth, chasing fluency.
But the more you learn, the more confusing it gets—for you and everyone else. Sometimes you can’t even remember which language to use.
Footprints or Eggs???
The other day at work, for example, I was talking to my Spanish colleague. I wanted to say, I didn’t want to leave any footprints (huellas). What did I say? Huevos (eggs), and then trying to correct myself, I made things worse, saying huecos (holes). I never forget that split-second when you hear yourself say it, like an echo slapping you in the face, and you know you said something wrong, because your colleague’s expression confirms it. Instantly.
Restaurant Scene: Linguistic Disaster of the Year
But of course, once you start collecting these linguistic disasters, they come flooding back one after another — like a greatest hits album of embarrassment.
Because my all-time favourite happened, naturally, in public.
We were in a Spanish restaurant, and I somehow managed to shout swear words across the room — completely unintentionally, of course.
I was talking to my husband, sharing with him a dramatic story. I had seen two policemen grab a man and put handcuffs on him. For the love of god, I could not think of the word handcuffs in my OWN language. I kept trying to search in my vocabulary list: ‘The thing, you put on hands… handcuffs… esposas!’ I was trying in Spanish. The harder I tried, the louder he laughed.
And then it happened.
The lightbulb moment. 💡
“PUTAAAAAA!” I shouted — thrilled that I’d finally remembered the Slovak word (putá).
He stopped laughing.
He froze, unsuccessfully trying to shush me while looking around.
Mothers at nearby tables turned to glare.
And I, completely oblivious, kept repeating, “PUTAAA, PUTAAAA!” — celebrating my linguistic victory, blissfully forgetting that in Spanish it means something entirely different.
Multilingual Family Mayhem
And when you think it can’t get any worse, life throws in the family edition of the confusion game.
At home, my kids are polyglots too, which means our conversations sound like linguistic gymnastics — a wild mix of three languages in one breath. Sometimes they speak to me in our mother tongue (if they feel generous), other times in whatever language suits their mood.
Imagine being their mother and realising you can’t even understand your own child. I often find myself saying:
“Wait… what language are you speaking to me in right now?”
or asking the sibling, “What did she say?”
If I’m lucky, I get a translation.
Other times, I just get a “never mind.”
The Day My Husband Accidentally Taught Sex Ed
Looking at the bright side, it’s not always me who messed up. Hubby has his fair share, too.
The latest highlight?
A completely accidental sex-ed lesson. He was trying to explain to our nine-year-old daughter something about a living organism, but he said orgasm instead.
Now she’s wandering around asking him what an orgasm is.
And I’ve been chuckling, thinking karma is free. 💀
Conclusion: The Power of Confusion
So yes, maybe knowledge is power.
But when you know too much — in too many languages — that power mainly consists of confusing yourself and everyone within a 10-metre radius.
Welcome to Life in Translation, where knowing a couple of languages means you’re fluent in exactly one thing: chaos.
Because here’s the thing — in all that confusion and chaos, something kind of beautiful happens. You realise everyone’s just out here, accidentally swearing in the wrong language and laughing through the embarrassment. The mess becomes the magic. Those “did-I-just-say-that?” moments turn into stories we all get — proof that none of us are alone in this gloriously tangled web of words and life. So why not share your own stories too?
If you’ve ever mixed your words, your languages, or your dignity abroad — welcome home. 💜 Life in Translation is where all our linguistic disasters come to hang out together. Dive into more Abroadien chaos, laugh at the confusion, and maybe even recognise a bit of yourself in it.